Monday, December 31, 2012

40 day yoga challenge......do I do it again?

Blissful Yoga is hosting another 40 day challenge.  40 days straight of yoga.  I did it a few months ago and I felt great while I was doing it.  Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually.  I was sleeping better than I had in years and my career was in a much better place because the "little things" weren't getting under my skin anymore.  I lost 30#. 
So obviously, the question would be "why wouldn't you do it?".  Simple answer, I'm lazy.  I really am.  I don't want to commit to anything right now.  
I would rather sit on my ass and watch "Wife Swap" on Lifetime (I may or may not be doing that right now).
But I know once I sign the contract, I'm in.  Once I commit to something, it's hard for me to admit defeat and failure.  So when I post on facebook or this blog that I am committed to something, I will finish it no matter what.
 But sometimes when I'm at yoga, I feel like a fraud.  Everyone else is all zen and "non-judgemental to self and others", and I'm in back knowing that I can judge like it's an Olympic sport.  Yoga has helped me be kinder, but I still love to snark.  I don't know if I can (or want to) lose that part of myself.
If I went completely yogi, what thoughts would go through my head when I'm staring at the women on the scooter wearing a leopard skin sweater, smelling like urine as she squawks at the cashier?  Would I have to take the words, "Oh honey, no." out of my vocabulary when I pass women wearing totally unacceptable outfits? 
Remember when Derek Zoolander uttered those wise words, "water is the essence of wetness, wetness is the essence of beauty"?  What if snark is the essence of Marcee? Can I make a yoga lifestyle compatible with the essence of me?